Thursday, June 25, 2009

Neil

So, a few days or weeks ago I introduced Neil.  In that introduction, I noted that he was a good friend until he started doing heroine and beating his wife.  And then I noted that that was not true.  

I got a call from my Dad today, who told me he had heard that Neil is doing heroine and beating his wife.  He doesn't read this blog.  

So, first, I want to say sorry to Neil.  

Secondly, I want to make it VERY clear that Neil does NOT do heroine NOR beat his wife.  At least not at the same time.  

Third, I want to make it VERY clear that Neil also does NOT do heroine AND beat his wife at the same time.  As far as you know.  

Sorry Neil.  I hope this doesn't have any lasting effects on your business or your social life (if you had one to begin with).  As for those of you that I love but can't read or understand a joke (I do love you Merry), PLEASE call everyone you know.  And I mean EVERYONE you know.  And let them know that Neil, while a poor whistler, does NOT shoot up NOR abuse his wife, whether simultaneously or sequentially.  

I can't believe I had to write this blog.  

4 comments:

  1. You are wrong. I have it on good authority that Neil has, in at least one instance shot heroine and beat his wife at the same time, and often does it sequentially. To Neil's credit he has not been beating his wife as much now that she is pregnant, and when he does he doesn't "work the body" nearly as much.

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  2. Brian, although I read your blog all the time, you don't know you I am and I hope you never find out who I am cause I never wanna be mentioned in your blog. I like the simple life.

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  3. Should I mail you the libel lawsuit papers or just hand them to you when you come over on Monday?

    -Recovering herion/wife beating addict Neil

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  4. The guy in the second anonymous posting gives crystal meth to school children so that they will sleep with him.

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