Dog Days of Summer

It's hot. 

Pictures from Fred's Party

Here are some pics from that party 10 days ago.  They were taken with Robin or Amy's camera (not really sure which), from the Carolina Crew, so they are heavily biased towards, well, a handful of crazy Carolinians and those surrounding them.  You can see more on my post on my facebook page.  Honestly, this may have been one of the best parties I have ever been to.  Aaron Nazrul and the Boom Booms played for hours, and during the breaks Martin DJ'd.  Ridiculously fun and diverse crowd, all of whom were friends.  I certainly had had a few by the end, but I'll admit that I started wearing the pink boa before drink one.  Thanks Pat.  Still don't know where the jester hat came from, but Amy likens me to the tooth fairy towards the end of the night.  Fun stuff.  

Dinner with the Reitanos and Creation

I had a wonderful dinner two nights ago with some new friends, Simone, Michael, Brianna, and Zach, along with Mike and Donna, up in the posh Los Suenos resort in Herradura... Lots of awesome philosophical discussion.  Brianna writes and records songs, and has an amazingly soulful voice that you can check out here, if you are interested: http://www.myspace.com/brireitano.  Mike is an artist as well (http://www.savlenstudios.com/), and so we had some interesting discussion especially about maintaining purity of art when you are also using it for a source of income or to become "successful."  It seems to me that, as soon as your definition of success, in ANYTHING whether artistic or otherwise, depends on other people (for money, fame, "living forever", popularity, power, control), you immediately give up some of your freedom, and therefore "purity" in whatever you do.  It seems to be no longer from your spirit, but instead an intellectual approach to what might appeal to someone else.  Some good discussion, though, about needing to afford paint to paint, followed by a quote about how a truly free man can be free even when in prison.  In any event, it was wonderful conversation.  

Are we all artists?  I guess I'm kinda defining artists as those who use creativity in action, although that may be incorrect.  I had trouble coming up with the "otherwise" in the sentence containing "artistic or otherwise" above, because it occurred to me that, in a way, if we're doing something that comes from our spirits, it's literally creative... Created.  Not caused.  Created.  Everything else is caused by a long chain of programming.  Coming from the spirit, though, seems to be just, well, created.  

But here's where I was stuck for 28 years... creation is intellectually impossible.  The Causal Theory, which is a fine piece of logic that I may be horribly misrepresenting, states that everything is either caused or is random.  If something is not caused by something else, how can it be anything other than perfectly random?   Actually, if you want to get into it, randomness is intellectually impossible as well.  I'll try to explain, knowing that I am not good at this.  Imagine a needle that swings back and forth between the red side and the blue side.  This needle can be caused to stop on blue or on red.  If it is not caused to stop on blue or red, the only possibility is for it to randomly stop on one or the other.  Otherwise, why did it stop on one and not the other?  We, like the needle, are either caused to stop on one decision, by experiences, evolution, or some other long or short chain that lead us to be pre-disposed to the choice given the circumstance, or the choice is made randomly.  It can't be anything else.  However, if there is perfectly even odds between red and blue, neither can ever be chosen.  SOMETHING must cause the needle to choose one or the other.  There must be SOME reason for it to stop on blue instead of red.  Which leads us to only one real possiblity... that everything is caused.  Creation, literally, is infinitely impossible (sorry God), even in randomness.  The beginning of the universe, for example... If it was random, why didn't it set something in motion that eventually made me have three arms?  We know it didn't, and if we start to explain, we start with "Because..."  Reason.  Cause.  Precedence.  Every question of why is answered with a cause or an "I don't know,"  which simply is our inability to list the causes back to, well, interesting...    

And my God does this fit in well with everything else I've been thinking about lately (maybe it's time to stop thinking again).  Intellectually, all is caused.  And yet how many of us believe in free will!  How many of us feel that we actually have control over ourselves, our actions, our thoughts, our emotions, our world, our future, our fate!  

Here's my feeling, and I can't explain it logically or rationally.  I've stopped trying to rationalize things, because it doesn't work on the spiritual plane.  Just because we can't explain it, and it defies our logic, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  There must have been a start.  I believe that perhaps the causal theory fits here in our human experience, but with a minor difference.  Everything is either caused, or is spiritual.  Creation lies in the spirit.  Free will lies in the spirit.  Most of what we think of as free will is actually still part of the long chain of causation, programmed into us by some force outside of ourselves.  We can explain how we chose one thing or another, but the vast majority comes down to things we have been taught.  It is only those things that we have not been taught that are truly creative.  Only those things that come from our spirit are uncaused.  

But now it's late, and I'm tired.  I believe everything happens the only way it can happen, and yet I believe in free will.  I believe in creation, in spite of my intellect telling me that it's not possible.  I think these are the reasons why the mystics have found it so difficult to explain happiness and love.  You can't.  They can not be brought into the human experience.  Perhaps like "pure art."  As soon as art is brought into the human experience, it is no longer created, it is caused.  

That's a leap I didn't intend to take.  And I don't know if I believe it.  There's probably middle ground here.  But it's too late to go further, and this train of thought blog has to end somewhere.  

Did you hear that Mike got stung by a scorpion?

Scorpions and Crabs and Jellyfish

Here's something about scorpions and crabs and jellyfish...

Scorpions:  A buddy got stung by a scorpion on the beach today.  Rare, I know.  Here's the thing... He transported the scorpion all the way from his home to his car to the bar to the beach on the ankle strap of the leash on his longboard.  Went to put on the leash, got stung on the finger.  Ouch.  Here's a neat fact... To decrease the pain, you can rip off the tail of the scorpion and rub the gooey fluid that comes out on the wound.  Mike did it, and it helped.  And then we went surfing.  No waves today.  No waves at all.  But I went out twice.  And paddled.  So, that's what I know about scorpions. 

Crabs:  It rained three nights ago.  It REALLY rained.  And it was the first time in months.  The neat thing was that the next day, our bathrooms here at the bar filled up with land crabs.  Little blue and red creatures that live in the lawn usually.  I and a six year old blonde haired blue eyed little boy went and got the broom from the kitchen, and one by one, I would get them out of the bathroom, and he would take over and sweep them out of the bar.  It was like hockey with crabs.  Not a big deal, but when I got home, I opened the door, and literally 30 crabs scattered as I turned on the light.  They were all over the house, and scattered into every possible hiding place.  Not so bad for me, really.  While they can climb walls (I know, strange), they don't seem to enter my bed, at least while I am in it.  But JAKE.  The poor thing spent all night jerking his head from scamper of tiny crab legs on concrete to scamper of tiny crab legs on concrete.  He doesn't chase them, as he has learned that they hurt when sniffed.  All the more reason to keep an accurate account of their locations.  Update: they're gone.  After one day.  Word is they migrate to the mountains in the dry season.  I guess they got confused for a day, then realized it's too damn hot down here.  

Jellyfish:  Surfers get stung a lot in these waters.  And peeing on the sting helps.  It's not an old wives tale.  Enough said. 

One Year Later

One year ago tonight I wrote in my journal "I saw my first sunset tonight, and it was beautiful."

One year ago today, I had the biggest transformation of my life.  I had finished an eight day retreat in Northern California, called the Hoffman Quadrinity Process.  It was the catalyst that spawned an enormous change inside of me to become as I am today.  The final day of the Process, as we call it, I made a vow: To share; to connect; to love; to lighten up; and to live by my authentic self.  The following day, a Saturday spent partially on Stinson Beach, partly at the Sandpiper Inn, and partly on a trail by a river nearby, a significant shift happened within me.  I had only really become aware that I existed in the previous week: I saw for the first time my spirit, previously hidden from consciousness by a dense cloud of human experience-created patterns.  On this particular Saturday in Stinson Beach, that spirit, I, became the home team.  And my human experience, including my emotions, my intellect, my body, and all of the programming I have received, both positive and negative, were only visitors along for the ride with my spirit.  I woke up.  And I felt love. 

In the last year, as many of you may have witnessed first-hand, I've gone through many human changes that in one way or another reflect the internal change that occurred over that week, and especially on that Saturday.  I quit my job (twice), I got a tattoo, I bought a Jeep, took a roadtrip, broke up with my absolutely wonderful girlfriend of six years, moved out of our home, moved again, sold or gave away everything I've owned, moved again (this time out of the country), found desperation, faced the prospect of bankruptcy, got sued, got dengue, learned to surf (caught my "glory wave" as others called it two days ago), learned to cherish being alone, and watched.  Especially watched.  And watched.  I've gone through peaks and valleys, I stray for sometimes weeks at a time, only to wake from sleep and return to myself with forgiveness and compassion.  I find awe in sunsets. But more than anything, I love.  And that is wonderful.  

So today I spent the morning alone.  I reminisced some, I questioned a lot, I ran through some visualizations, and took note in the simple beauty around me.  I became very sad.  I miss home, I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss Kris, I miss Grizz and Mav.  I miss Tone, and Deanna, and Sues, and Annette, and Frankie, and Rin, and every other single person who had their own experiences at White Sulfur Springs with me one year ago.  The connection I share with them is so beautiful and so deep.  But in that sadness is love.  And while I'm not with any of these wonderful people now, or the countless other friends and family, I don't feel pain.  Sadness without pain. Missing without longing.  Love.  

So, as I looked back today, I wondered whether I am any different now that I was before that week at WSS, or if I have only changed everything around me while I have stayed the same.  I feel more love.  I feel less anger.  I feel at peace.  I don't have much anxiety.  But is it better?  Am I now or at least moving toward something greater?  After spending hours checking in with myself, I have come to only one answer: I don't care.  I'm on the best path I can choose, and if nothing else, I am learning and growing in ways I never grew before.  For better or for worse, I believe I am me.  More me than I have ever been.  And that's nice.    

No Drinking or Smoking - 7 Days

Starting today, I'll be sober and nicotine-less for seven days.  A friend is choosing to do the same with me. Hopefully nicotine-less forever, but sober for at least seven days.   I feel like an alcoholic when I say that, but fuck it.  Anyway, I already notice that it's difficult.  I have chosen not to drink about every other day lately, but I have tended to have a lot to drink on the "on" days, and last night I didn't drink much at all.  So, something is telling me not to make a big deal out of this, and I don't want to make it any bigger than it actually is, but I thought I would share it anyway.  

I realize that what I am doing is renouncing alcohol right now.  My mom recently sent an email response to my last post, and described ways in which she finds it easier to distinguish between the voices inside of her (that makes her sound crazy, and she is).  She said at one point that any voice that rationalizes an addiction is not your spirit.  Well, this may be a rationalization, but here's my thoughts on that: 

De Mello argues that we should not renounce attachments.  While every great thinker uses his own words, I have found that, generally, attachments refers also to patterns, compulsions, addictions, or various other similar concepts.  It's not the object of the attachment that is the problem, de Mello argues, it is the feeling that, without that object, we can not be happy.  He actually argues frequently that we should not renounce, as we can not give up an attachment when we renounce it.  The attachment will always be there, we're just repressing it.  De Mello and Tolle both agree that, in order to rid ourselves of attachments (or programming for Tolle), we need only be fully aware of them (Tolle), and understand that we do not need those things in order to be happy (de Mello).  

So, mom, there's your rationalization.  It's not from me.  So, if what they say is true, and I have found that much of what they say is true for me, staying away from this object of my attachment is detrimental to becoming free of it.  So, why am I doing it?  It feels right.  It doesn't feel right drinking as much as I have been.  And I am sick of feeling like I am missing something without a beer in my hand.  So there. 

I don't know

My mom wrote me an email today, and I started to respond to her, but then I thought I would just go ahead and write my response here.  One of her questions in her email concerned my drinking, and she lamented that I have to have drinks in order to have fun.  And here are some of my thoughts:

I am most definitely addicted to alcohol.  I'd say most of the world is (around here anyway).  I don't mean necessarily a chemical addiction, but more of a intellectual and emotional addiction.  Last night, I worked a good portion of the night without having a drink, and I had a blast.  I wasn't consciously choosing not to drink, I just, well, didn't have the time (thanks to all you other crazy Oesteans).  But sometime around 10:00 or so, I started drinking, and continued until after close.  I find myself wanting a drink virtually every day, especially as people come in and have a few cocktails themselves.  And here's the thing... I don't know why.  And that may be best right now.  Here's why.

I'm now reading Malcolm Gladwell's Blink, which was originally given to me by a good friend with whom I worked back in Oklahoma.  Thanks Hugh.  I'm about 100 pages into it, and have surmised this much from his conglomeration of scientific and anecdotal studies... Gladwell argues that a) our subconscious knows far more than we give it credit; b) our subconscious split-second decisions can be as good as or better than intellectualized decisions; and c) our subconscious "computer" is constantly influencing us in ways that we know nothing about.  He's got a lot more, but this is what I have found so far.  He's very convincing, by the way.  I bring this up for two reasons.  

First, Gladwell argues that for us to say we know why we are acting in some way is really very difficult, and usually we're wrong.  Our subconscious is so powerful and so unknown to us, that we may THINK we're making a decision for one reason or another, when in fact our subconscious has given us the decision, and then another part of our subconscious has filled in a reason that has nothing to do with the reason our subconscious had for making that decision. It's as if we have two minds in the case... Sub A, which makes honest decisions based upon what we know and have experienced, and then Sub B, which provides a false reason to make it palatable to our ego when it reaches a conscious stage.  For example, I might choose not to hire a black person, and give a stated reason that he was too shy or not outgoing enough, totally believing that this is the reason I have decided not to hire him.  In fact, it may be the case that I have chosen not to hire him because my experiences have lead my Sub A to be prejudicial to black people, but my ego doesn't view me as a racially prejudiced person, and so Sub B kicks in and creates a reason that is palatable to my ego, allowing it to feel good about itself and keep on living strong and happy.  Thus, not only do I not know the reason for my decision, but I don't even KNOW that I don't know the reason.  (Subnote: Isn't it strange that we always capitalize the word "I"?)

So, first thing, we don't know why we do what we do.  We just do.  And yet de Mello and Tolle and Hoffman and virtually everyone else who writes about ancient wisdom preaches awareness.  And yet how little we can be aware it seems.  But maybe that's just it, practice.  Becoming more and more aware.  

When I started reading Blink, I found myself feeling a little uncomfortable.  Even before he got to his argument about how little we really know about our decisions, I felt uneasy because it started to occur to me how little I know about the decisions I am making.  If I let go of needing a rational explanation for my decisions, am I just letting my programming off the hook for even coming up with a rational explanation?  Am I just feeding the computer, without checks and balances?  Really, I'm just getting rid of Sub B, and now Sub A can just make decisions as it pleases, without even needing it to be within a realm of rationality that Sub B can make up.  

I don't know.  

Perhaps by first letting go of what we think we know, and saying "I don't know" a little more, we actually do get rid of Sub B.  Maybe that's the first step in breaking down the chain of lies within our own bodies.  Perhaps saying "I don't know," and being okay with that allows us to get a step closer to Sub A, which is the root of our programming.  What felt most uncomfortable, of course, when I started to read Blink, was that it gave rise to the question of who was really driving.  Is it my spiritual self when I look inward for decisions, or is it another unknown computer trying to convince me that it is authentic?  Here's the answer I have come up with so far:  I don't know.  Goodbye Sub B.  

I wrote all of that a few hours ago, and had a wonderful conversation with two friends over dinner tonight that I feel helped me shed some light and gave me some new understanding of my condition.  But now I'm tired and have a 5:30 appointment in the morning with a friend and some waves in Bejuco, so I'll save it for tomorrow.  Just a preview to remind me tomorrow:  Purpose in life, good vs. bad, human experience suffering, observer of (physical?) pain, fear of unhappiness, shadowing myself.  And some things I want to spend some time on in the future:  drifting off to sleep and dreams.  

By the way, I just finished the staff meeting that I wrote about a while ago.  It didn't happen.  Two employees didn't show up, one of which seemed to be the one with the most concerns.  Hrmm.  Pepper, Shane, and I had a nice chat after Ingrid and Randall left after waiting for the others to show up for about 20 minutes.  Okay. 

Full Moon Party - Aaron Nazrul and the Boom Booms

I was lucky enough to convince the band that played at Fred's birthday party to stay a couple of extra days and play at the Full Moon Party last night at the Lowtide before heading up north.  It was cool, actually; they were all packed up ready to leave on Monday night, and they stopped in just to say bye to a couple of guys at the bar, and I jumped on the opportunity, got them drunk, and convinced them they should delay their departure.  So Aaron Nazrul and the Boom Booms, a freaking sweet band from Canada that has been on tour throughout Central and South America for the last few months, played last night.  And man did they play.  Of course, many of us here in Oeste know the words to their songs by now, as we've been listening to their CD since we first were introduced to them at a New Year's Party, also at Fred's up on Canada Hill.  "Parece que va a llover.  Ay, mama no llore."  "I think I'm gonna like this country..." "You can feel it when the night starts burning."

So the party was awesome.  We had a great turnout.  Maybe 80 people in this little bar.  Turst me, that's full.  The Boom Booms learned "Never Been to Spain" for me, and then made me sing it at our peak, which was AWFUL, but damn fun.  Ingrid and I (can you say short-staffed?) liquored up the town with rum and cokes, Imperials, guaro cranberries, and plenty of late-night migalito shots, while Randall kept them full and happy with burgers and tacos.  Shane chipped in when we needed some bussing.  We rocked.  The town rocked.  The Boom Booms rocked.  A rocking good time, really, for a little beach bar in a 400 person fishing village. 

I love this picture above from about 2 in the morning.  While I don't really remember, I believe Jamie is telling me I should make some more shots, but I am pretty sure I am just looking at her boobs.  Nice.  

So I've got to go get some sleep.  I was up yesterday morning at 6:00 to build some shelves before opening (notice the nice shelves behind the bar in the pic with me and Ingrid), and didn't close the bar until 2:30 AM this morning.  And, of course, up again this morning to open at 8.  Neat.  

Oh, Zack and Marie.  Engaged.  Freaking awesome.  Congratulations guys.  I love you both.  

Fred's Birthday

Wow, last night was awesome.  We closed the bar around 10 PM, and I headed up to Canada Hill (here in Oeste, just about 500 meters away) to a FREAKING AWESOME party celebrating Fred's birthday.  Good old fashioned clean drunk fun with close friends, a killer band from Canada, Martin DJing during the breaks, Carnival costumes, sweaty dancing, and uncontrollable laughing.  I would guess there were about 70 people there, most of whom are friends.  AND MAN DID I DANCE.  Shirtless.  With a pink feather boa around my neck.  Getting down with Ariele, Rachel, Martin, Yolanda, Allison, and all the other crazy gringos from the Hill.  I especially partied and danced hard with the Carolina Crew, who took off today for the airport, which is another goodbye without pain, only with sadness of not being able to hang out with them tomorrow.  Heyword and Amy have decided to move here though, which is freaking awesome, and will be coming back in June.  At one drunk point in the night, I told Robin (part of the Carolina Crew) I wanted to make out with her, and I wanted to share her awesome reply, which she didn't remember when I brought it up this afternoon... Her reply "Do you want to make out with me, or do you just want to make out with someone?" Needless to say, we didn't make out.  

I absolutely love the Carolina Crew, and I think the reason is their openness.  They don't have any shame, they don't judge, they just are who they are, and let everyone else be whoever they are.  They are the first to laugh at themselves, but laugh just as quickly at everyone else.  Today before they took off, Amy made me look at a picture she took some time ago of her poop, that he mother had used to create an animated short cartoon.  I know this sounds a little strange, but it's really not with them.  It's all just fun.  And all of them are this way, it seems, and it makes me feel more comfortable just being myself.  In a way, I aspire to be like them.  And that's cool.  They CERTAINLY don't take life too seriously, they seem to really live in the present, they are cool just being themselves, and they're full of open love.  Cool people.  

In any event, I'm certainly feeling great today, in spite of being exhausted and a little hung over.  I'll post the pictures from last night on facebook and a few of the favorites in a blog as soon as I get them from Amy.  They are probably the first pictures taken of me shirtless with a pink feather boa and a jester hat.  I look forward to getting them. 

Tormenta

I woke up today a little somber.  I'm sad.  I'm afraid, I think.  I am certainly being affected by the way other people view me.  Basically, I'm really not feeling me this morning.  Here are some of my thoughts:

First, on Thursday next week, we're having a staff meeting called by my boss.  The purpose is basically so the employees can tell me off.  I'm under the understanding now that some employees (we don't have many) feel that I don't help out enough with serving, and that I am sometimes not at the bar when it is busy, so I'm not here to help in a rush.  And here's the thing... I think I help out more than is good for me, and I think I am here more than is good for me.  I'm here on average about 10 hours a day, EVERY DAY, and a good portion of that time I am behind the bar or waiting tables or washing dishes or cooking or chatting with customers about the surf or local attractions.  So much so that I don't have much energy to do the office work or advertising or bill paying or other managerial duties.  I feel as though I have become really a barback that also is responsible for the cash, paying bills, and making sure we're open every morning and closed every night.  And I'm cool with that, but I honestly can't do more.  

I wrote a good friend recently in London.  I told her that I really wished I could have more time to just be.  More time to do nothing.  She wrote back some incredibly insightful things:

 Do you think that you equated a simpler life with having less money, and now you are being shown that it is your doing that creates the complications not the material things you own?  For example, you are still working (doing) just as hard as you did in Okey, could there becsome self deception as to what you thought having a job that paid less and living in the tropics would equate to?

And...

You talked a lot about just wanting to be.  The zen's i believe would say that you can just be even in the act of doing...it's just a state of mind.  Therefore, what thoughts are preventing this reality for you?  What fears do you hold that surround 'just being'?!

She's good, isn't she?  I think she's right.  I think I did build expectations about the job and about how much I would actually be working.  Of course, I moved down here with Cherie, and had expected her to fill part of the load, which didn't end up working out, but I still feel that even if there were two of us, we would be expected to work full time.  I did expect to have some free time, and I don't.  And I am motivated not by what I think is good for me, but what everyone else thinks of the job I am doing.  I felt like quitting and running back to Oklahoma because I just don't understand how a couple of our employees could possibly think that I don't work enough, and I don't feel I could possibly work more.  I'm still such a child sometimes, but at the same time, what in the hell could they want from me?  

AND I do have a belief that I can not be while doing.  I never realized that.  Perhaps I should just start being right now.  What fears ARE holding be back from that?  Fear that I can't do it? Maybe the reason I am still not "being" is because I am afraid that I will find out that I'm really not all I need to be happy.  That sucks.  

I did have some feelings last night of... Well, either I fit or I don't.  It's not a reflection on me.  Some think I am doing a great job, some think I am doing a poor job.  Either it works out for others or it doesn't, and if it doesn't, that's okay, I'll do something else.  Of course, my ego seeps in and says "Yeah, fuck them.  I can go make a shitload more money doing something a lot easier surrounded by the people I love."  And I have to tell my ego to shut up, and remind myself that it is just fear of being rejected that is speaking up there.  A fear I've had since I was a little kid, and in many ways never grew out of.  Probably a lot like a lot of you, I have a tendency to reject before I am rejected.  And that sucks.  

In any event, I find myself down.  I find myself with thoughts of injustice, feelings of inadequacy, feelings of rejection, sadness, anger, guilt, desperation, exhaustion, and yet... calm.  Peaceful, but with a feeling I might fall into the tormenta at any second.  In the eye of the storm, with these emotions and thoughts swirling around me at a thousand kilometers and hour.  But where I am is calm.  I can stick my hand out into the storm and feel it all, and it scares me that if I slip just a bit, I'll be swept away.  Or maybe I already am swept away and I am just not willing to admit it.  

In any event, it's an eventful morning inside of me.  With a long day ahead of me. 

Carolina Crew et. al.

So, it's been a week since I have written.  I don't like that.  I prefer to write every day.  So I'll try to change that.  In any event, here are some highlights:

1. Carolina Crew - Here are some pics of some great friends from South Carolina - Amy, Hayword, Trip, Ross, and Naked Guy in the Bathtub.  With the exception of NGITB, they've been here for a month or so, and are just awesome people.  On Sunday, we got down a little hard at the bar afterhours, and included in our soiree some Bohemian Rhapsody karaoke, plenty of migalito shots (guaro and cream of coconut shaken), some MC Hammer-style dancing, and for some reason many pictures of cleavage (not pictured here - well, one, which in so many ways didn't match the others).  These guys are great fun. 

2. Sushi Dinner - Adam and Maria and I went out to sushi dinner last night at Tsunami in Jaco.  the crunchy roll is incredible.  Excellent little Tuesday.  

3. Surfing - A nice swell came in over the past week.  I had one perfect one-wave session - paddled out, waited for less than a minute for an excellent wave, had the best single wave I've had so far, rode it to the beach, and called it a day.  Sweet.  Tomorrow I'm paddling out before work with a new friend, Lyndsay, who just came to town with her husband, Richard.  We actually got to be friends when Jake tried to eat her five pound poodle in December.  She's the forgiving type, it seems.  Looking forward to paddling out with a new friend.  

4. Jake - He's not in great shape.  Got some skin problems, and my vets in Jaco can't figure it out, so we're going to Quepos tomorrow to get him checked out by a new doctor for a second opinion.  Right now, he looks like he's got lupus or something.  (I don't really know what lupus is, but this is how I imagine it when I hear it.)

5. My House - It sold!! It's gone.  I am (probably) not going to go bankrupt!  Neat!  Thank you Michael, Pat, Linda, Jose, and everyone else who helped me avoid foreclosure.  That makes my life better.  I loved that house, and all that it had in it.  I certainly look back on that as an absolutely wonderful time in my life, and am enormously grateful for the life that we had in that house.  I'm sentimental about the house, and feel mixed emotions in me, but am happy not to worry about foreclosure now. 

6. Partying - Been doing too much.  Going to go through some detox.  For all of you that said it would be difficult managing a bar and not drinking all the time... You were right.  It is tough to moderate.  But doable.  It's nice that I have fresh fruit and vegetables, chicken wraps, plenty of water, and surfing to help replenish my body when I find I've been doing too much partying.  

Just Not Right

You can not put The Devil Wears Prada in the same boat as the Princess Bride, Jeni.