Searching for the Middle Way

It occured to me today that a large portion of my earlier blogs tried to reconcile a spiritual existence with a human existence.  It seems that even one single attachment, one want, one desire - one single human element makes a spiritual existence impossible.  In fact, just one single human element starts a chain reaction that runs its course to a totally human existence, practically void of spirituality.  I won't get into the logic here, but my experience has shown that to be true for me. 

And in meditation today, as I opened my eyes, there sat a buddha statue in front of me, smiling at me.  And I realized that the Buddha went through the same experience.  He could not find his way to enlightenment from a human existence.  He had to totally give up his entire human existence in order to attain enlightenment.  Afterwards, he was able to look back and develop the middle way - a moderate path to enlightenment. 

I'm no Buddhist.  But I'm frustrated by the search for the happy middle ground - the ability to be spiritual and human at the same time.  Several years ago, I made a quick switch from 95% human to 90% spiritual.  That 10% humanity left in me has grown and grown for the past several years to 90%, and in the meantime, it feels like my spirituality has shrunk to the remaining 10%. 

What I seek is to survive within the human world - with all of its distractions - but remain fully spiritual - without want or attachments - filled with love.  I just don't know how those can possibly coexist. 

But that is my search.  To find my middle way.  And this must be my life's work.