So, right now I am, well, sitting at the bar. Like I do. I just finished cooking and eating a fine burger with mozzarella, mushrooms, and bacon. Washed it down with a toronja soda. Ingrid's "working", although we don't have any clients right now. Well, Myron just showed up, so we have Myron. And there is one guy at the bar, talking to Randall and having a drink. So that's two, really.
It's open mic night at Vago's, the pizza place across the road, so any clients we would have are over there. It's a relatively new thing he started, and was a good idea. He's got Wednesday nights locked now.
As for me, I'm a bit tranquilo right now. Not really feeling a lot of love today. I keep trying to connect into it, but am unable to. I tend to think it's because I have been drinking and smoking too much lately. I've also been really tired lately, I think for the same reason. I've been staying late at the bar, and some nights (like last night) staying here in a hammock. Tonight should be a good chill night though. Don't think we'll have a big crowd anyway.
I actually feel a bit lost tonight. Almost bored, I think. With all this around me, I feel bored. I keep thinking that I CAN'T feel bored, I'm past that already. I don't get bored. But, I know I'm past telling myself how I feel too. I'll just let myself be bored I guess. No sense letting it get to me. My head asked a question a little while ago... Isn't this new life that you seem to be leading a boring life? No ups or downs, no falling in love, no strong emotions? It's not me talking, but I'm taking note. My head answers itself, of course, knowing it would, by saying "well, is peace boring?" To which it again responds to itself and says, "um, yeah." And here I am just listening, and then watching myself type. Which brings up an interesting question... Who's typing?
And I laugh. This doesn't seem boring.
Am I going crazy? And if I am, who exactly is that? I'm reminded of an Austin Powers quote: "Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy... the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament." Maybe I'm going sane, just taking the crazy route. Me and my Fu Manchu.
Hey Bri! As I was sitting across the street enjoying the music last night I thought about coming over to say hello at least twice, but then didn't because I figured you'd come over after you closed up, which you did. After reading your blog I now wish I had acted upon those thoughts (or whatever they were) and come over to say hello and not waited for you to come over.
ReplyDeleteThe change in the weather often seems to affect people. We get so grumpy at the end of the dry season because it's so darn hot that we're praying for rain, but then when the rain comes, after we do the happy dance, it's kind of sad. Several people this week have commented about being a little blue and I think that's what it is. Thank God it's cooler! I am welcoming the little bit of rain we've gotten. I love the thunder that is grumbling right now. And I also remember at the end of the rainy season many people griping about it and wondering when is the dry season going to get here...
I'm really looking forward to the Full Moon party Saturday night!
P.S. You're always gorgeous, Fu Manchu, freshly shaved or 5:00 shadow.