Right Now - 13/5/09 10:29 AM

Right now I am in the office, after just getting off the phone with Neil, who claims he's not ALL bad.  Agree to disagree.  I also just sent out the weekly report to my bosses, Joey, Sam, and Shane.  

I'm a little tired this morning, but feeling good.  I had a nice dinner last night with a new friend, and we got into a discussion about purpose, of course, because it is what is on my mind.  The conversation led into something a little new for me, and so I thought I might bring Steve back (who, by the way, just messaged me yesterday and is coming back for the whole month of July).  A while ago I started talking about how I am not Steve, which is strange for me.  The more and more I distance myself from myself, the more I am beginning to experience "myself" - my thoughts, body, emotions - as I had previously experienced other people.  And what's more, I am experiencing other people closer to how I used to experience myself.   I view myself as perhaps no more special than you, and therefore you become as special as me, which is really pretty neat.  It's like I am identifying myself with everything, instead of just this body, these thoughts, and these emotions.  Instead of just enjoying my experiences, thoughts, emotions, and feelings, I am starting to enjoy EVERYONE's like they were mine.  I'm identifying "I" as less just me, and now more of everything.  

But we also got a bit into the discussion of who I am.  I think maybe I'm starting to see the "I" as both nothing and everything at the same time.  Perhaps this "I" that I use to describe the consciousness is the universe, and only my brain individualizes it somehow.   But at the same time, I still can't read your thoughts.  I still can't see through your eyes.  Doesn't that automatically separate us somehow?  I'm not sure I've ever heard of anyone who can see through another's eyes; but is it possible?  

So, strange thoughts this morning.  Wonder where this will go next.  I think that I've got to stop talking like this to new friends if I am ever going to actually make new friends.  In any event, I think I'll go back to the house now and read a bit of Byron Katie, who has another great quote I read a couple of days ago: "The truth is that there's no such thing as enlightenment.  No one is permanently enlightened; that would be the story of the future.  There's only enlightenment in the moment.  Do you believe a stressful thought?  Then you're confused.  Do you realize that the thought isn't true?  Then you're enlightened to it.  It's as simple as that.  And then the next thought comes, and maybe you're enlightened to it as well."  Cool.