Bye Jeni

Jeni, a very close friend, is heading back to Canada today for 6 weeks to 6 months.  Here are some pics from her goodbye party on Monday (actually, I take that back... I'll have to post later, but here's a pic of me and her from a few days ago).  She's stayed the last 6 weeks with her mom up on Canada Hill (the somewhat posh section of Oeste), and is at least currently planning on moving to Oeste full time when she returns.  This place certainly has a draw.  It will be good to have her back whenever that may happen.  

The rest of this post, just so you know, is not about Jeni, but about my experiences here in general...  A lot of goodbyes come with living in a transient/tourist town.  It's interesting to build friendships and relationships with people who may only be here for a week or two.  It is truly enjoying the present, actually.  Just because a person may not be around in a week in no way diminishes the quality of the time we can spend together while that person is here.  I find myself becoming very close with some amazing people from the States and Canada, knowing that it's only for a short time.  And yet, at the same time, there's always an exchange of email addresses, promises to keep in touch, or even come visit each other.   It's interesting how hard it is for us to say goodbye, and just leave it at that.  I constantly feel a pull to want to keep in touch, or at least say we'll keep in touch, but I don't think it's a truly spiritual pull.  I think it's mostly associated with some compulsion we have as a society to keep whatever we have.  From clothes to TVs to cars to friends to credit scores to pictures... We can't just let go of things that we consider "ours".  I know.  Getting rid of all my crap before moving down here was an absolute pain in the ass, even after I had made the decision to do so.  

Eckhart Tolle writes about how labeling things as "mine" transfers a part of myself into that thing.  When we label things as "ours," we associate the loss of that thing as a loss of a part of ourselves.  I believe that we have such a hard time saying goodbye because we feel as though we have invested a part of ourselves into that other person, and giving it up feels like giving up a part of ourselves.  And because we can't give up things that are "ours", we spend all of our time managing those things that are ours at the cost of experiencing those things that we do not feel we own.  The accumulation of things (or people or ideas or whatever) that we consider ours enslaves us to those things and inhibits us from being able to enjoy the variety of the world around us.  The solution?  Stop investing ourselves into those that we consider "ours."  Stop even referring to things as "ours."  Things are just things, people are just people.  When I say something is mine, it really means that I have invested myself in that thing, and am therefore enslaved to it.  When I say something belongs to me, what I believe I am really saying is I belong to it.  

But I'm not there yet.  So I am going to go take my dog back to my home, perhaps play my guitar or read one of my books before coming back to my job.  I'll write more on my blog about my trip with my friend down to Manuel Antonio to visit my brother.  Ahh.. my life.  And for now, I'll miss my friend Jeni.