May Full Moon Party

We had another great FMP on Saturday night.  This time we got the Chupacabras to play for a few hours, as about 90 people laughed, danced, and drank Silk Panty shots.  Jeni worked her first shift, helping me and Ingrid to serve the thirsty customers, and Randall worked the grill as he does.  The band rocked until 11:30, and the party lasted until about 2:00.  Here are a few pictures. 

Right Now - 12/5/09 7:55 AM

Right now I am at the bar, after just opening and throwing on some Enigma.  I am a little earlier than usual this morning after having a decent 5:30 session with Larry, Brett, Pat, Adam, and Les.  The waves were okay, but the pelicans were certainly my highlight.  With just the slighest offshore breeze, the pelicans were still able to glide just above the waves.  They pass in groups of 5 to 10 without making a sound, just silent beauty like paddling through glassy water in between sets.  The morning was grey, but still and beautiful.  

This time of year, many parts of the town have the sweet but bitter smell of rotting fruit as the mango trees shed hundreds of mangoes throughout the streets and yards.  Piles of the rotting orange and yellow flesh provided highlights of bright color on the early morning grey walk to the beach from the Soda, as the light rain gave us a taste of moisture on our skin before diving in for the paddle out.  Larry picked up a mango on the walk, and rinsed it in the ocean for a pre-session sweet snack.  This is truly a land for senses.  

I feel content this morning.  I feel a little excited in a boyish kind of way, I think probably about a date I hope to go on this week.  I don't have a whole lot of thoughts this morning, just a feeling of peace.  Maybe it's the Enigma.  Or Olie licking herself on the bar by my computer.  Or Jake sleeping under the table next to me.  Or the grey sky.  Or the rolling waves.  Or the ever so slight breeze now coming from the sea.  Or maybe it's just me.  

ROADTRIP to Atenas

So, last Monday, when five of us polished off a bottle of Tequila, we came up with a brilliant idea: a roadtrip to Atenas.  (Mondays are becoming notorious for excellent ideas: see Boogie Days.)  So, yesterday morning, I fifth wheeled it with Jeni, Scott, Pepper, and Ozzie, and we packed up and headed to Atenas.  Now, first, for those of you that don't know, Atenas is a town of about 25,000 located in the mountains between here and San Jose.  And generally, I know nothing about Atenas.  Except that Ozzie lived there for perhaps most of his life.  

So, we took off in the Silver Bullet at 8:00 AM, not really knowing where we were going, and definitely not knowing why.  We put on some awesome music, and did a lot of seat dancing, laughing, yelling, singing, and storytelling (GET OUT OF THE CAR JENI, Capitan Coyote y Pimienta Picante, to name two).  We stopped to get a round of Cuba Libre's in cans in Orotina.  I don't know quite how to explain this, but there was love spilling out of this little car.  It's like there was a ray of sunshine falling down on our chariot as Scott navigated us through the twists and turns of the two lane highway snaking through the mountains.  Even before we got to Atenas, it had been an absolutely wonderful day.  I could feel life throughout my body, and laughed frequently even when there was nothing to laugh about.  

We stopped by Ozzie's mom's restaurant, and then by her hotel for a second on the way to two waterfalls tucked in just past the town of Tecares (AKA Tecate).  The falls were spectacular (pictures forthcoming), and we all got a little high, seemingly from partial asphyxiation from all the water in the air.  We swam in the refreshingly cold water, and left as the thunderstorms began to roll in over the mountains.  After another exquisite ride in the Bullet, we landed back at Ozzie's mom's home, where we napped on couches after wrestling with his German Shephards.  Ozzie's mom came home full of life and cheer around five or six, and we dined on delicious chicken, rice, beans, sausages, tortillas, and salad.  Scott suffered through vicious attacks from both Ozzie's guard-cat, who thinks he's a dog, and a scorpion hiding in the upholstery of an outdoor chair.  We were all lucky enough, including Ozzie's mom, to see Scott preform the world's quickest strip dance, dropping his drawers in under a second after being stung on the ass by the monster insect.  Good fun for all of us, with the possible exception of Scott.  

After I almost backed off a 500 foot cliff, we made our way home late night, using our emergency flashers the entire trip to make up for a lack of taillights.  We arrived back around 11:00, when we parted ways under an almost full moon, and I retired to my castle and crashed into my bed into a dreamless sleep after suffering through the second half of "Che".  Awesome day.  Awesome day. 

Right Now - 6/5/09 7:40 PM

So, right now I am, well, sitting at the bar.  Like I do.  I just finished cooking and eating a fine burger with mozzarella, mushrooms, and bacon.  Washed it down with a toronja soda.  Ingrid's "working", although we don't have any clients right now.  Well, Myron just showed up, so we have Myron.  And there is one guy at the bar, talking to Randall and having a drink.  So that's two, really. 

It's open mic night at Vago's, the pizza place across the road, so any clients we would have are over there.  It's a relatively new thing he started, and was a good idea.  He's got Wednesday nights locked now.  

As for me, I'm a bit tranquilo right now.  Not really feeling a lot of love today.  I keep trying to connect into it, but am unable to.  I tend to think it's because I have been drinking and smoking too much lately.  I've also been really tired lately, I think for the same reason.  I've been staying late at the bar, and some nights (like last night) staying here in a hammock.  Tonight should be a good chill night though.  Don't think we'll have a big crowd anyway.  

I actually feel a bit lost tonight.  Almost bored, I think.  With all this around me, I feel bored.  I keep thinking that I CAN'T feel bored, I'm past that already.  I don't get bored.  But, I know I'm past telling myself how I feel too.  I'll just let myself be bored I guess.  No sense letting it get to me.  My head asked a question a little while ago... Isn't this new life that you seem to be leading a boring life?  No ups or downs, no falling in love, no strong emotions?  It's not me talking, but I'm taking note.  My head answers itself, of course, knowing it would, by saying "well, is peace boring?"  To which it again responds to itself and says, "um, yeah."  And here I am just listening, and then watching myself type.  Which brings up an interesting question... Who's typing?  

And I laugh.  This doesn't seem boring.  

Am I going crazy?  And if I am, who exactly is that?  I'm reminded of an Austin Powers quote:  "Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy... the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament."   Maybe I'm going sane, just taking the crazy route.  Me and my Fu Manchu.  

Recent Life, Guilt, Negativity

So I grew a Fu Manchu.  Cool.  There's a country song "Great Day to Be Alive,"  and has a line in it that says "Might even grow me a Fu Manchu."  I like the song.  And now I am one.  It doesn't look particularly good, but it's what I got.  

Let's see... What's been going on?  Ariel's going away party was last week.  Love that girl.  She's lived here pretty much her whole life, and now going to Canada for university.  Here's a pic of us at her party.  

Had another sweet Monday night.  Jeni, Scott, and Oz came and joined me and Pepper for some after-hours ridiculousness.  Here's a pic.  I love those nights, but have definitely been having too many of them.  I'm drinking way too much these days.  Not sure what that is all about, but I think I'll stop today.

My shoulder is still pretty out of whack, and doesn't seem to be getting any better.  So I've started surfing again.  If it's not going to get any better, I might as well get on with life.  And maybe the surfing will help.   

It's hard to concentrate.  Ingrid is sitting next to me coloring her Winnie the Pooh coloring book and writing my name in colored Winnie the Pooh pens.  She's 20.  

Word on the street is that a Maine justice decided to allow the lawyers of the people suing me to serve me via email.  Which likely puts me in the case.  Which just is.  I still find it all fascinating and amusing.  

So, I finally finished Tolle's "A New Earth."  He lost me towards the middle with a very long discussion of the pain-body, but once I finally got through it, I found the rest of Tolle EXTREMELY good and true.  Certain meditations I find enormously beneficial in getting out of my mind all the time.  He at one time asks the reader to try, as often as possible, to pay attention to his breathing... the inhaling and exhaling, the rise and expansion of the chest followed by the retreat.  I find it centers me in the present, while feeling and paying attention the energy in every part of my body helps me to connect myself to the world around me as I observe it, and quiets the incessant labeling and narrative in my head.  

I also loved his concept of purpose.  He says our first purpose is our inner purpose of awakening.  Following this purpose is our outer primary purpose, which is whatever we are doing right now.  This second.  For example, my primary purpose right now is writing this blog.  Being in the present is the only way in which we can combine our outer and inner purposes.  Using the present as our primary purpose is the only way it can be connected with our consciousness and be separated from our ego.  In a way, it doesn't matter at all what we do, but as long as we remain in the present, what we do is what is meant to be done.  For me, I would say that whatever happens is exactly what is meant to happen.  At least, it's only what could have happened.  

I started reading a book by Byron Katie.  The second paragraph of the introduction I find absolutely perfect.  "In my experience, confusion is the only suffering.  Confusion is when you argue with what is.  When you're perfectly clear, what is is what you want.  So when you want something that's different from what is, you can know that you're very confused."  I find myself less and less confused.  Which is nice.  And I'm still laughing more. 

On one last note, I was speaking to a close friend the other day about the past and about feeling guilty.  One of the authors I've been reading said at one point that there is no use in worrying about something you can do something about.  Just do something about it.  And there is no use in worrying about something over which you have no control, because you can't do anything about it.  So really, there is never any place to worry.  In somewhat of an analogy, there isn't really a place for shame or guilt, either.  As soon as one feels shame or guilt about a past action, that person is no longer the person who did the action in the past.  That person has become overcome with a new awareness of the situation and of himself.  As soon as that awareness comes in, that person ceases to be the same person who did the thing about which he is ashamed.  For me, though, shame and guilt don't have a place for another reason.  I am always doing exactly as I can do.  I am becoming more and more aware, but I am never more aware than I am.  I can only do as good as I am.  And that's it.  As I become more aware, I do look back and see that I may have done some things out of unawareness that were harmful, but I would not have done them had I been aware at the time.  I find I apply it to everyone.  Forgiveness is easy when you recognize that negative actions are simply caused by unawareness.  Honestly, instead of blame, I find compassion for the unaware.  I find compassion for myself in my unawareness.  It's much more productive than blaming everyone.  

Many of the authors I've been reading agree that all negativity is caused by unawareness.  I think I've actually found that there is no negativity in the world.  There are no bad things, no bad actions, no judgement anything really at all.  Taking everything in the infinite universe together, it all just is.  It's unawareness that causes us to view them as bad.  It's our ego that places judgement because we can't view it all.  We see an infinitesimally small portion of the whole, and on that tiny close in view, we label based upon our particular line of thinking of how things should be.  No, I don't think unawareness causes bad, I think unawareness causes us to think things are bad.  Except Neil.  He's actually bad. 

Sunday BBQ

So, I've been missing Oklahoma a bit lately, as I may have mentioned.  So I decided to bring a little bit of Oklahoma here every Sunday, starting yesterday.  Yesterday we closed the kitchen, whipped up a batch of margaritas, threw in some buckets of beer, and lighted up the grill for burgers, sausages, and grilled chicken sandwiches with sides of mashed taters and salad.  Some of my happiest memories are from Boston when we would make strawberry daiquiris, and then later in Oklahoma around the pool or in the backyard with cocktails and good company.  And so I'm bringing it to the Lowtide Lounge.  And it was nice.  I set up a nice loud sound system, played some cool chill music, and relaxed with some friends around the grill.  I set up an outdoor shower between us and the beach for the day (WHICH IS A GREAT FREAKIN IDEA) making it easy to go back and forth (which Jake loved too).  Randall loved getting out of the kitchen and behind the grill, and I loved kicking back and relaxing in the sun.  Cool. 

Other interesting things: I hired back our old guard, Flaco, after a short stint with Tigre watching the place (EVERY Tico has a nickname... Flaco has worked for me for six months and I don't know his real name).  It's getting cooler here.  Much cooler.  It's easier to fight the mosquitos when it's cooler because I can cover completely in a sheet.  I spent the night at the bar the other night, though, as we were in between Tigre and Flaco, and forgot to bring a sheet.  It was too cold for the fan, but the mosquitos were too strong to turn it off.  Didn't sleep much, but it was still much better than the last time.  Rained all night which was particularly nice.  I figure after a few more nights here I'll get it down.  

So, I don't really have any pictures to share, so I'll just attach this one from a couple of weeks ago; the day I returned from Aspen.  Went from cowboy to ski bum to driving fast to hanging a surf bum all in a few days.  Neat. 

Boogie Days (and Nights)

So, here's something cool that happened last week.  On Monday night, I came back to the bar after a great dinner with mom and Ron.  There were a dozen or so people at the bar, all carryin on, having a good time.  I had a couple of drinks with them, and it was 4/20, so some of us were doing what people do on 4/20.  We decided that, because there hadn't been waves in a while, we should have a Boogieboard tournament.  The next day.  At noon.  Brilliant.  And because these brilliant late-night ideas frequently get lost in the next morning's hangover, we made and signed a damn legal, enforceable CONTRACT that we would come.  And then we made a contract for a lifeguard (Ozzie), which consisted of a one sentence paragraph, "I got you, bitch," followed by a Ozzie's John Hancock.  We took odds, which were at best incoherent, and called it a night.  

Sure enough, at noon the next day, EVERYONE showed up for a couple of margaritas and out into the water we all went on boogies.  Which was funny.  Because we generally don't boogie.  We even gained some extras, and filled all 16 of Brett's boards.  The judging panel consisted of Millie, a new comer to our community.  It was an absolute blast.  Even Jake got out on a boogie for a bit.  He needs some practice, but he had fun.  

That night, we had the first Boogie Night here at the bar, which consisted of a quick award ceremony, some disco music, and the song "Boogie Nights" on repeat for perhaps an hour or more against heartfelt, sincere, begging opposition from pretty much everyone here, with the possible exception of Brett, who stood guard at the office door to block our poor patrons from changing that blessed song.  And here's why we didn't: Cause Boogie Nights are always the best in town! 

Can't wait for the next dry spell.